Statutory Warning: If you are NOT a fan of King Khan, please refrain from reading my post :p
“Dear Zindagi” (or should I say, dear Mr, Shah Rukh Khan :-P)
Writing a letter of this sort takes me back to my teenage days when I used to scribble upon my personal diary about my day to day activities. The only difference was, instead of ‘Dear Zindagi’, I used ‘Dear Diary’, which was undoubtedly a monologue, which I used to pen down every single day without a failure. The level of secrecy and my indomitable desire to conceal my thoughts must have heightened up the level of curiosity, among my fan followers ( 😛 my mother and friends); for they left no stones unturned, to catch a glimpse of even a single page of my personal diary.
As I have already mentioned in my previous posts, I have been (and I am) a die-hard fan of King Khan throughout my life. As soon as I learned to speak, I started singing
“Tujhe dekha to yeh jana sanam…pyaar hota hai deewana sanam..”
And then, there was no turning back.
The pages of my diaries were usually filled with the recycled versions of romantic dialogues (I was studying in a girl’s school, so I had to quench my thirst of dating someone, falling in love, as well as break up, by daydreaming and penning them down in my personal diary).
At times, I fell in love with myself, reading my own letters and poems. ( I have recently discovered, it to be the effect of being under the influence of ego ideal, whereby one part of myself actually identified too much, with the character of Rahul, who falls in love with my other self.)
Sounds too clichéd huh?
Not only that, my obsession for Bollywood, and most importantly the character of Rahul Malhotra went to an extent, that I even searched for people named Rahul to find, the similarities they had with the onscreen ‘Rahuls’ and’ Rajs’. As a result, I became obsessed with Rediff Bol and Yahoo Messenger at that point of time.
But, none seemed to be perfect for the name, as much as the onscreen Rahul! So, I preferred to sink in my own fantastic world, whereby my personal diary bears the testimony of my dumbness :-P.
When I actually started dating someone in my eleventh standard, I was probably on cloud nine. But that lasted no more than a year (11 months to be precise)…when I actually bumped into the reality and felt like cursing our grandfather, (the eminent filmmaker, Sir Yash Chopra, who taught us how to fall in love and to dream).
Well, that was indeed a hard blow for a girl like me! You expect to date a Raj or Rahul and you end up meeting someone like ‘Mukeshji or Mikey’ of Om Shanti Om 😛
I had to bid him adieu, by again using another recycled version of a dialogue from Dil To Pagal Hai, before I walked away:
“Kya tumne kabhi bhi … ek din ke liye bhi … ek pal ke liye bhi … mujhse pyar kiya tha?”
It was indeed a difficult phase, whereby I had to battle severe depression; because of an array of reasons, and that is when I gave up writing diaries anymore. But, when I overcame that, I became a strong and dynamic woman, who no longer cares about the world.
The three years of my graduation have always been the best time of my life because I learned to peep inside myself. As I turned into a hardcore feminist, I no longer dream of Raj to wait for me in the train until my father releases my hand.I would rather be Shivani of Anjaam and fight with the world (not SRK though 😛 ) for the sake of my love.
As I grew up, I began to fall in love with the man himself, rather than the characters he played on screen. I began to read more about his life, his struggles and how he became who he is today. And because, my experiences, my memories, my feelings and my attachments will always be mine and as Gaurav Chandna would say :
“Rehn de tu nehi samjhega…”
Being a student of Film Studies, and a professional of the entertainment industry, today I speak volumes about domestic audiences and reception of films. I criticize objectifying women onscreen and voice about gender equality, but when it comes to the films which star SRK; those films are always exceptional because they are classics! 😉
Yes, I do skip them deliberately and I still curse my senior, since he chose to research on King Khan and his stardom, the year before I joined the University. Lucky chap he was, because anything and everything related to SRK would always be my dream project anyway :-D.
Never mind, because today I no longer complain about my life or my failures; nor I am scared to face my future (a bit skeptic, though). Today, I would rather say:
Thank you for being a great roller-coaster ride, I am thoroughly enjoying it. Here is my wishlist and my backup wishlist, please fulfill the same and lend my life the sense of completeness!
- I wish (#keepingmyfingerscrossed) to meet you someday (though I don’t know what will I do, I might just die of shock 😛 );
- I wish to work on some project with you or about you someday ;
In case you find this too much, here are some backup wishes as well 😀 :
- I wish, some of my friends (who have worked with or for him), will bring me an autograph of him.
- I wish him to be safe and healthy so that I can watch first day and the first show of any films where he even pays a guest appearance!
- I wish him to be the King of Bollywood forever!
When it comes to the rest, I know you have the best plans for me! So, I would rather take the opportunity and thank you for everything, I have been experiencing till date. It’s my life and I will make it large 😀