Cakes, Cookies and Christmas Movies!

When I was very young, the seeds of Christmas was planted in my mind by my aunt, my grandma and my sister. My parents (though never celebrated Christmas) never tried to wake me up out of the spell. The same old story of kindness and love, and the joy of gifting more than receiving.

The tree has always been symbolic of magic for me (because the tree was the spot where I presumed Santa visited every year) because we always clicked pictures under the tree. But this year, I learned of an amazing idea. The Christmas tree can also be symbolic of a Wish Tree! A tree, where children and toddlers hung their wishes, and there was someone, who fulfilled them all. Imagine, how many smiles it can bring!I am grateful to my current workplace for introducing me to such beautiful concepts.

Today I get to share my personal space with someone, who (Genz) thinks that she has never celebrated Christmas, and never will because she belongs to a particular religion. I can’t help but feel sorry for the little girl, who has been caged and brought up with this narrowness. No wonder many children grow up being self-absorbed and attention-seeking. I am just grateful because I get to pass the ‘vibe check’ of Christmas and take part into the festivities. This season always reminds me of home, togetherness. There’s so much magic in the air! And, when someone questions or threatens my dreamy childhood moments, I can’t help but get triggered.

I think, it all comes down to individual choices and belief system. So, there’s no right for anyone to push in their own ideas. You never know which chord is the sensitive one. Free your mind and hop in at the festivities! At least, it’s time to celebrate the New Year in a grand way!

For me, it’s the pajamas, cakes, cookies and lots of Christmas movies! What about you?

Gehraiyaan: Worth the Watch, Only if You Can Relate!

‘I don’t want to end up like her..’

‘I feel stuck when I am alone at home..’

‘I can’t live with my past,’

And, I don’t know how to let go mine!’

Yes, these dialogues are very much relatable for any random couple. But, the film deals with far more complex issues like anxiety disorder, separation anxiety, a dysfunctional family, culture shock, PSTD, suicide, and accidental death. The story revolves around a lonely child, Alisha, who grew up alone, embracing the happy memories of her past. Every day, every moment, Alisha strives hard to be perfect and build a better life for herself.

Yet, she ends up committing a silly mistake that turns her life upside down! It is a mistake of trusting a fancy dream boy, who eventually ends up stealing all their family wealth and ruining two soul sisters’ lives.

It was a trauma bonding with her cousin’s fiancé Zein that turned her life upside down. Alisha has been a sensitive child, a responsible daughter, and a solopreneur! She is a self-made woman who wasn’t fortunate enough to go abroad for her higher education, like her cousin or her boyfriend. But, Al aka. Alisha is a smartie and knows how to get her job done. This is perhaps because she has inherited that business acumen and skills through her genes. She has been a healer and a hustler. Yet all she ever wanted was some respect, attention, and love from her ready-to-settle-down-with-average boyfriend, who seems to lack the qualities that can heal a depressed or anxious woman (with a troublesome past). She has been following a strict routine, yoga, meditation, and letting go of her past.

Unfortunately, relapses can occur anytime, and the trigger elements can be anything. What happens when you struggle to communicate with your partner and you get gaslighted frequently? What happens when you bump into someone who woes you constantly? What happens when someone claims to offer you the life you’ve been dreaming? What happens when you accidentally cross the thin line between ethics and love? Alisha fell for the inner child of Zein. Alisha wanted to heal him and build a home with him. She wanted to build the perfect dream home with her sweat and blood, perhaps because she wanted to build a better life for her next generation! She wanted to have the child; she wanted to be a risk-taker in love!

So was Tia! She has been emotionally fooled and used by her boyfriend. Her mother failed to protect her, despite her desperate attempts. Tia fell for the fantastic entrepreneur, who genuinely deserved a beautiful princess like her. She observed him mindfully and tried her best to protect him by understanding his mental, physical, financial health. How far could you go to protect your loved ones? Tia could go to any level to build a dream life with her fiancé, Zein because she too wanted a different life than her parents.

In the end, two dynamic women emerge victoriously and swear on changing their reality and breaking the patterns!

Alisha and Tia are single, skilled, confident individuals, solopreneurs, and age is just a number.
They can start again, build their own identities and reality, and live in their own fairytale worlds.
The key takeaway lessons of Gehraiyaan are indeed profound! Your past traumas or mental illnesses don’t define you; your perceptions, knowledge, and skills do. All you need is to stay clean and maintain a healthy communication system with your family or support systems. And, never forget your anxiety pills, if your doctor has prescribed them as mandatory!

Anecdotes From the Deepika Padukone and Ananya Pandey Starrer

It doesn’t matter where you come from; what matters most is where you are going!

For a mental health patient, everyday is a new battle, a new challenge, but it is not impossible to laugh again and build your dream home again, with or without a man of your dream.
You don’t need to limit yourself if you are an ambitious woman, an overachiever, and a go-getter! Just slow down, lean back, meditate daily, and take baby steps. Most solopreneurs believe in taking one step at a time and taking time to heal yourself before you heal others.

Family can be your strength and weakness, depending on the communication system. You can start fresh, leaving behind your traumas gaslighting experiences by surrounding yourself with the right people. Forgive yourself, forgive those who have hurt you, and move on like Alisha and Tia.

My Aunt Says ‘Take Life As It Comes’

They say your ‘aunt’ is like your mother! But, I never wanted another mother! I had one, and that was already enough! 

She came into my life when our lives were full of happiness and dreams. 

Yet, the ‘little girl’ hated being treated like a ‘little girl!’ 

via Pinterest

Every time her sister and others went for adulting experiences, they left her behind at home. She had to wait patiently for their return to enjoy their company and learn more about their experiences with the outside world. She had no one to understand her, and no matter how hard she tried to bridge the gap, she was always ‘nearly grown enough!’

This little girl always felt left out. She wasn’t emotionally mature; she wasn’t mindful at class; she wasn’t an ideal daughter. She was the troublemaker-always! Just like The Naughtiest Girl!

The first time, she stepped out of her home for a faraway land, riding the all-new Kolkata metro! She stared at everything in awe! Metro Railways! This was something she wrote essays about! It was exactly like the Babies Day Out film!

Then, her aunt took her to the best part of the city! 

Any person who brought you to this place for the first time will always have a special place in your heart. 

It was College Street! It came off as a massive shock for the little girl, for she has never seen such a splendid sight—huge racks of books stacked with Enid Blyton, Nancy Drew, and R.L. Stine. Amid the soothing smell of the new books, the piles of new books, bookworms were devouring up pages of books here and there; some were searching for the books as per the school booklists.

She felt like sitting there spellbound and watching around all day long! It was like a permanent Book Fair! She had no idea this world existed parallelly amidst her boring everyday reality!

Her aunt giggled at her foolish behavior and said there were more surprises for her! 

And then, she took her to the great Indian Coffee House! Little did she know that day, that afternoon will change her life forever! 

That day, the naive little girl was desperate to get back home to start her new Wishing Chair book. Her heart was full of joy and satisfaction as she took a bite of the giant-sized Samosa. Little did she know, she was sitting at a heritage site! A place that would become an integral part of her life someday, that very place that defined her city. She had no idea of anything! 

On her way back home, she gasped at the sight of the roadside stalls, full of new files, beautiful notebooks, stationaries. She wanted them all!

That’s when her aunt told her she has to grow up! She has to be like her, and then she could buy anything she wanted, with her hard-earned cash. 

Before that day, she had only seen limited options or choices of notebooks! Now she knew where those attractive notebooks and pens came from! Now, she could buy them too, anytime! All she needed was growing up! 

On my way back home, I was determined to grow up as soon as possible! I knew College Street was where I belonged. I felt an uncanny connection with the place and the woman who evoked the curiosity in me. 

I knew I would get there soon! I had to! I was living under the same roof with my idol- the person who gave my life a direction. The person who gave me my world, my friends, my characters! And I wanted to be everything like her! 

via Pinterest

No, she wasn’t another mother! Instead, she was her parameter for defining ‘perfection.’ She was just the person the little girl needed-her idol, her Muse, her philosopher, her guide, and she wanted to grow up immediately to reach out for her soul.

 She was too deep, and I was too tiny and insignificant. Perhaps, one day!

The Inclusive Scenes in Indian Kitchens After the Pandemic Can Be rewarding

As a child, I always felt it fascinating whenever there was a disruption in our daily routine. Days when my school bus services were closed, and either one of my parents had to drop me off in school; days when our house-helps would take off, we would get the exciting opportunity to work together in the kitchen!

My mother has been a disciplined woman. She set strict regimes for us, and we longed to break free from her rules. My blog name ‘A Rebel’s Diary’ reflects my childhood attitude towards her! As I have already mentioned, my mother never liked me or my sister entering the kitchen when we were in schools. She always tried to manage everything on her own. Even though I always had a knack to try out adulting tasks, my mother never let me take up any serious roles in the house.

Growing up, I find it absolutely mind-boggling how she managed everything so perfectly as if some computer or robot ran our house! The woman was so obsessed with running her house perfectly that she even packed her hospital bags before her second delivery and ironed and folded her daughter’s school uniforms as her water broke! Honestly, me or my sister can never be so perfect like her. Nor we want to!

My mother is carrying generations of trauma and deep-rooted psychology that tells her that she has to execute everything on her own. As a woman, it is her primary duty to look at her children, even though she might not get an opportunity to look in the mirror for days. Thanks to our current circumstances, she realizes how a woman should not burn herself completely while caring for her children. For now, she looks at her children and her grandchildren!

Nevertheless, the days when our house-help took days off, it used to be such memorable days in the kitchen. Apart from the sense of pride that our mother has entrusted either of us with an adulting task, the most important thing was the quality time we spent together!

As I am born and brought up in a joint family, the sense of inclusiveness and team work was always there inside me. It’s always fun when we have ten hands and ten brains around to execute a task! The holidays felt like that, and food always tasted better after our fair share of hard work! I realized it was not an easy task and started complaining less about my imperfect sunny side up eggs to my mother! Some days, I even told my mother to rest; it was just an egg!

Post the pandemic; many Indian kitchen scenes went through a drastic change!

With the house-helps gone, and irregular work from home schedules, many couples felt it evident to share their responsibilities, mainly due to circumstance where they had no one but the Virus to blame.

I think, for many Indian couples, the lockdown turned out to be a boon, as more people realized how difficult the regular house chores could be without any help.

As I scroll through the romantic kitchen selfies, my heart fills with joy! It’s finally happening! People are finally learning to not take people for granted and approve that it’s okay for the person (who handles these tasks regularly) to take a break!

The inclusive kitchen scene can ease a lot of burden from all of us. Honestly, every time I see the couples working together in the kitchen, my little nephew and nieces helping their parents out, it makes me happy. Because that’s a scene I have been longing to see, that’s a scene I never got to see in my childhood. But that’s how things should be, right?

As I also believe that cooking or house chores can also be therapeutic for a person. It has been so for women for ages. For me, I always get to release my stress by kneading dough or structuring my story in my mind while I involve myself in the physical tasks.
If you are mindful, you can find peace through anything. At least, the Virus taught us; it can be so much fulfilling to sit in a clean place and have a stomach full of food!

However, even today, many women need someone to tell them that ‘it’s not just their responsibility to carry all the burden! It’s their home too!’ Be it a daughter or a son; responsibilities can always be shared, which fetches bigger wins for the family. It’s not wrong to take a break (irrespective of age) without feeling any sense of guilt or resentment!’

It’s the deep routed trauma and denial that our elders unknowingly tries to pass on to us. And we need to resist, to stop this from passing on us or to our next generations. I know resisting is the most challenging part! But, we have to find our safe ways and methods.

Perhaps that can stop the random comments from strangers, like ‘What are you doing? Your baby is crying! Take care of him now! Can’t you see your husband is busy with his ‘office work?’

‘You don’t look married enough! How do you find so much time?’

Whether they are settled in India or abroad, I know this is a reality for many women even today. Because many of them are repeatedly compelled to carry forward these ideas, with the whispering of the three magic words ‘You are a woman!’

Although the wounds and damages caused by the virus are beyond my contemplation, and the world still waits to heal, I think there is still a positive outcome of the event. As they say, every event is meaningful, and it impacts us in both ways! I think it’s time to embrace these positive impacts and remember the lessons, the new habits we have picked up.

Nothing Changed Much Since the Day I Learnt How to Make Perfectly Round Rotis!

Recently, I stumbled upon a video clip of the Kapil Sharma Show, where a husband shamelessly appeared in front of the world to complain that he has issues with his wife because she doesn’t know how to make round shaped rotis! The husband feels embarrassed every time someone visits their home because his wife makes rotis that look like India’s map. The husband took immense proud in the fact that he knows how to make perfectly round rotis. But why would he cover up for his wife? It is her duty, after all!

And then I saw an infamous clip of a crime show, where a husband measures the diameters of roti and slaps his newlywed wife because it was less than 12 and 1/2 centimetres! Her mother-in-law comforted her saying, that she will ‘teach her’ how to make the perfect rotis as per the standards set by her husband!

Honestly, nothing changed much since the day I learnt how to make perfectly round rotis!

Since my childhood, my mother never taught me to make perfectly round rotis. She always told us cooking is easy! Nowadays you can easily learn cooking by watching a video! Focus more on your education and jobs! Financial independence is the ultimate key to building your dream life. She barely let us enter the kitchen, even though sometimes we wanted to help her willingly. Every time her opinion was crisp and clear, ‘You will get to spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and it doesn’t require any additional skills or talent to get in here! Once you start doing it, you will pick it up naturally! Right now, you focus on your main job-studies, and let me do my job of taking care of you! Don’t get distracted from your goals wasting your time on all these.’

When I moved to a different city, I eventually learned how to make round rotis, but did it change my life a bit? Certainly not! But, my University degree did! It played a vital role in building up my confidence, shaping up my character, and creating my life the way I wanted. And I realised what my mother meant, years ago!

Thank God my mother never apologised to me like Simran’s mother (DDLJ)! She never agreed to give up on her dream of raising her daughters her way because of the patriarchal society! She decided to play stronger roles to raise her daughters. She decided to set new rules and raise a voice about them proudly to relatives and neighbours. As they say, charity begins at home; I learned the basics of feminism from my mother, even though she learned the term years later from her daughter! She just knew she wanted a different life for her daughters, and she made it happen in reality. And I couldn’t be more greatful about the fact that my mother is way different from Simran’s mother, and I am optimistic that my future husband or in-laws will definitely not choose me for my roti making skills!

Unfortunately, many Indian women are not so lucky as me. They are literally forced into focusing on these life skills as they grow up, even more than their professional skills!
In my case, this additional skill didn’t seem to be any useful in my personal life. My loved ones never bothered much whether my rotis were round or square, thick or thin! They gladly ate them as long as they were edible or ordered online! For me, it did add a sense of pride and happiness, as if I have learned a new art. But, it is nothing more than aesthetic satisfaction.

Perhaps, the new age Simran too needs to hear this out ‘Jaa Simran Jaa, poori karle apni padhayee aur bana le apni zindagi’ from their mothers!

Why I Have A Problem Being Called ‘Sexy?’ Call Me Classy Or Sassy, Never Sexy!

Do you know when you compliment someone as ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’? When you think they are desirable or worthy of attracting (preferably the opposite genders), right?

While many women enjoy the compliments, a section of us gets offended by the term!
Want to know why?

It is all about your perception, your mind. When people see Nora Fatehi dancing on screen, some see desire; some see art. How can she be so flexible? Many others giggle every time they see her performing. So, you see, it’s not all about our bodily desires! There’s a world beyond that.

Yes, I do not enjoy being complimented as ‘sexy’ because it reduces me to a mere object-a plastic or inanimate object. While I consider myself very much alive and full of emotions, I feel it’s difficult for me to face a person who doesn’t recognize my emotions or intellect.

Why do they assume that a woman must be obliged or delighted about the fact that she can attract someone physically towards her? She might be interested in connecting with someone intellectually or emotionally or through art!

Why do they assume that women are ‘asking for it’ if they show up in a short dress in her profile pictures? There can be a hundred reasons for a woman to pick a dress or pose for a photo!

Many women perceive themselves as independent thinkers, leaders, change-makers, artists, creators, authors, or poets. Many of us don’t enjoy being complimented as ‘hot’ or ‘sexy.’ It hurts our emotions or self esteems, that our creative capabilities have been reduced to zero in a go!

We enjoy compliments about our works, our sense of humor, our IQ levels, our analytical skills, and so on! The list is endless if one has the eye or desire to look for it!

Talking About Sex: Is She Comfortable?

When I was 16, I often received the compliment ‘sexy,’ while my sister was always the cute one. While I was too young to discover the meaning of the term and explore my sexuality, many found me capable of attracting the opposite gender. I sang ‘sexy sexy sexy, mujhe log bole’ and brushed it off my mind, though it haunted me for a long time. I had other important things to focus on on-films, fiction, and my career!

Growing up, I found a lot of people interested in my virginity and sexual interests. I realized many people find it a pleasurable fantasy to decode people’s personal lives and write the script inside their heads. But, the worst part is when they play ugly mind games to decode your personal experiences, and you become the living character of their pleasurable fantasies!

Under many circumstances, I found people making an excuse to step into my personal life and space. Sometimes, they even tried to manipulate me to talk about sex.
“Being sexy is not all bad and talking about sex is not negative”-quoting a recent user’s comment from Linkedin, and most of the time, I heard similar comments. I agree with them, but stepping into someone’s boundaries with any excuse is ugly and negative.

While I know that talking about sex is not regressive, even without the poor demonstration skills on social media, I am not comfortable playing a role inside people’s heads! I might be comfortable to write a pleasurable fantasy for the world, but I might not be comfortable to chat about sex or sexuality with a specific person!
I believe today what really sexy is to respect the personal boundaries and individual choices, without being judgmental! If I am not comfortable to talk about my sex life, please don’t lure me in doing so! That is regressive and doesn’t make you an attractive person. Come on; you are not Lucifer! 

Shakuntala Devi: The Human Computer

After a super hectic week, when I turned on my laptop for an inspiring content, I accidentally came across the newly released ‘Shakuntala Devi’ on Amazon Prime. The content is so refreshing and inspiring, that I now have at least five fresh blog topics to write about!

There were many aspects of the film that touched me. Starting with the real-life character and her quirky puzzle books, the titles she earned, and her unbeatable world records- Shakuntala Devi has been a pioneer in her field. Any person who aspires to score a decent percentage in the CAT examination or secure an MBA degree in the future can hardly ignore her mindboggling practice books!
The unapologetic ‘Devi’ has been entering the male domain unhesitatingly and beating even the fastest computers in the world to claim her crown!

But, the depiction of such a genius female character on screen, with her insecurities and dilemmas is fascinating, because it can set up a benchmark for the aspiring Indian writers.
As a hardcore feminist film critic, I have always complained about the portrayal of women on Indian screens.

Even as a writer, I wondered, why can’t there be layered characters? Why can’t the female characters be more humane? Why can’t we peep into their brain and reflect upon the complexities?
My seniors told me, it was always better to remove a few layers of the characters I created, because otherwise the content would be too heavy for the audience. The Indian audience can’t handle too many complications on screen. As they walk into the theaters, most of them are looking for entertainment, rather than intellectual or emotional satisfaction. They want either a role model or a dark evil character whom everyone condemns-in short, flat characters with limited options.

But, there are always two sides of a coin! How can I turn my character into a complete badass without justifying the reason? Maybe a little hint at their background stories might help?
Every time I said this, I was told, ‘that won’t be necessary. You just need to build the drama.’

But what about their internal conflicts and dilemmas? ‘The audience will get confused whether to like or to hate the character, and in the end, they won’t be able to relate with them. It would be best if you created the conflicts or touched upon their external challenges. Forget their mind, focus on the external challenges.’

I always used to wonder how a film can attract a broader set of audience. ‘Shakuntala Devi’ has very well articulated the way of connecting with a broader audience, with the sheer art of storytelling and emotions. Not to mention, the wider their outreach is, the more capable they are of creating an impact or initiating a change in the mindsets of people.

With this new age Indian content, I feel we are slowly getting there. This is no less than an achievement that the Indian content creators are finally interested in depicting the genius women characters, and a 41-year-old female actress is still capable of driving the narrative with her maximum screen timing, compared to the other young, vibrant actors. Even though she has repeatedly been body shammed and questioned over her appearance, Vidya Balan continues to rule over large-screens and OTT platforms with her effortless performances and quirky characters. This further reaffirms the fact that content is king after all!

In ‘Shakuntala Devi’, the writers and the showrunners have successfully created a balanced character- the badass ‘Devi’ who rules the world; yet there is a vulnerable side of her you can’t ignore, and you can’t help falling in love with!

Birthday Wish For A Long Lost Friend

Have you ever been accused guilty of something you never did? Isn’t it painful?

As for me, I often get a déjà vu sort of feeling about this. Being blessed with a genuine misfortune, I decided to take up the writing profession. As a result, I am often misinterpreted or misunderstood.

And, it takes me ages to contemplate and clarify people that I meant something else!

(Detail from Theo Ellsworth’s contribution to the expanded edition of my Wonderbook, out in July.)

I never claimed to be a perfect person. In fact, I never tried sincerely to be perfect in stereotypical sense of the term. I have my own imperfections. All I ever wanted was someone, who could just accept me with my imperfections the way I accepted the close ones in my life. I know they are not perfect either. But, I am okay with the fact, that two imperfect people can create a perfect life with consistent hard work.

Image: Pinterest

Most of the men (I have come across in life) are self-centered. It is almost their inherent quality since they are brought up that way. In a way, they feel that they need to date the fairy tale princesses or the reel-life girlfriends. I am not sure, whether they read as much fairy tales as women, but the classics seem to impact their lives sincerely. They visualize a life where a swish of wand would make the dishes get done by themselves; the dust particles and leftovers will march towards the dustbin by themselves. And their maidens will sit quietly in front of the window, singing ‘Lavender blue dilly dilly’ in their melodious voice, doing their hair with their manicured pretty hands.

Image: Listen Notes

She needs to be naturally pretty, or she could just hire a fairy grandma to stay beautiful and young forever because the salons are highly expensive these days. Getting chores done is something women carry in their genes, while men carry their ego, self-centered and chauvinistic nature.

Life is really difficult without besties. They are like oxygen for us. As soon as adulating hits us, our BFF turns into our besties, our  secret keepers.

We lecture around that whining and complaining is something kids do. Adults have a problem-solving attitude towards life. They cannot afford to waste their time, complaining about their lives.

But, truth be told, that is only partially true. Even the adults whine and complain about their lives and anticipate how their lives might have been, if they existed in an alternate dimension and followed their hearts at some point in their lives. And herein comes the role of our besties!

Image: Pinterest

They emerge not only to give us a reality check or bring us back from their alternate spaces but to lend us the problem-solving attitude towards life. They make us realize, that whining and complaining will only make things worse. Ignoring or escaping from the real-time problems can never be an effective solution. We have to be braver and stronger to endure the bad phases, and the bad times will pass. It is almost like an alternative healing method for many of us.

The unpaid consultant, the therapist we can’t afford to pay always turn out to be our besties!

Image: Pinterest

I consider myself lucky, to be surrounded by such therapists who have been backing me up so far. Unfortunately, I lost some of them, and some replaced others. In the gradual process, even I became a therapist for many. But the sad part is, my bestie gave up on me too early.

Image: Youtube

It is sad, that people often judge a book by its cover. They pick a flower from the stalk even before it has blossomed. They nip the possibility of life in the bud. They kill the talents, instead of nurturing it. Unfortunately, we fell in the same trap. My bestie gave up on me, and I gave up on her.

Image: Pinterest

But, life goes on. The Universe hasn’t stopped rotating ever since the day I was born. And so, it is only better for us to move on with the best memories we share together- of whining, complaining, shedding tears, and of course, the endless laughter sessions.

Image: archzine.net

It has been her second birthday this month since we parted ways and I can’t help feeling incomplete without wishing her, all the happiness of the world.

PS: Honestly, I strongly believe that somewhere in an alternate dimension, me and my bestie are now celebrating our back-back-birthdays and living our dreams together! Happy Birthday, dear bestie!

Image: Clipart Library

To My Friends…With Love

Ever since my childhood, I have been overly enthusiastic about friendship day. Blame it on “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” or SRK, but somehow it acquired an essential role in my life, ever since my third standard.

Image: weheartit.com

As an optimistic person, all my life, I believed in ‘live, laugh and love.’ Honestly, I am an introvert; but I have always been good at networking and finding the like-minded people. So, I never felt the fear of missing out anything or anybody. I believed in people, and they believed in me. Our party always began when we all stepped into any random place together. Forget the party gears, props, or even the locations-we always had the best time together, even when we were broke.

Image: Webweaver’s Free Clipart

Often, I loved to boast about the fact that I have collected such amazing gems all my life, whom I called friends. I had carefully handpicked each one of them and invited them to step into my world. It is worth mentioning here, that I always get turned on by ‘innocence.’ This was the primary trait, which my friends needed to possess, to enter my beautiful world. The rest were variable factors.

Image: Genius Quotes

Two years back, as I shifted to Mumbai from Kolkata, my life changed dramatically. Mumbai has taught me to value people-the real, genuine people (not only friends or family members), who care for others, rather than the ones who fake it. As I grew up to be more mature and wise, I started distancing myself from the toxic energies around me.

Image: Genius Quotes

I no longer wish to exist in a place where I am not wanted or accepted. I don’t want to be judged for my acne scars or the pimples I have grown; my repetitive outfits or the age-old handbag I carry. I have my investments, but those investments might not be jewelries, matching sandals, handbags, expensive makeups, or lip shades. I like to invest all of myself (also my hard-earned cash)in love, or intellectual satisfaction.

Image: Shutterstock

However, I am an adjusting person. I can deal with all sorts of people unless they try to misinterpret my intentions or hurt my weaknesses deliberately. These two cases leave me heartbroken and tormented and make me want to disappear from the world altogether. Also, I often find myself clueless about the fact, why would someone feel contended to belittle someone and to crush their spirits? Why would someone make fake promises to someone and then leave them unprotected and alone, on a chilly winter night, during her vulnerable phase? Yet, they do this, only for showing off (people who feature in their priority list) that they really care for all and they are kind-hearted purest soul, residing in this planet. But, does that make any sense? I mean, who cares about that?

Image: pinterest.com

Being a straight-forward person, I have always been clear about my intentions. Either I care for a person, or I don’t. There is no middle path. I don’t believe in fake promises or commitments, just for impressing or convincing anyone. I am equally committed to Jaime (my cat) because he is a part and parcel of my beautiful world, my family.

But, people change in due course of time, and their priorities shift too. No matter how much you love someone, you fail to comprehend their daily challenges or measure their personal growth. The same thing happens at the other end as well. So, we distance away from our friends, our extended families, loved ones, and plunge in our daily struggles. We forget the good times, and we judge them for their momentary behavior or attitude, and we choose to walk away from their lives silently.

Image: BetterHelp

In the last two years, I have lost many valuable relationships of my life; and the sad part is, I was neither too demanding nor self-obsessed! I was merely seeking acceptance and a comfort zone so that I could take a momentary break from adulthood. I was yarning for a friend, who could take me back to my innocent student life when I had no responsibilities, no tight deadlines or toxic people around me. But, my friends have failed me, in the same way as I failed them. I couldn’t embrace them with unconditional love.

Image: pinterest.com

People change; after all, “change is the only constant in life.” All we can do is, accept the changes, and filter out the negativity and toxic energies from our lives.

Nothing is permanent in life, so we can hope that someday we’ll reconnect again, and embrace each other with love, positivity, and good vibes. Till then, take care and save your smiles. I wish a very happy friendship day to all my lost gems!